That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
