Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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