I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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