He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I can't put those talents on a resume
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
