I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
