p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The best revenge is premature balding
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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