Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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