i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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