Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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