I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
