I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
