her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Randomize