I love black thongs
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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