that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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