maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
