New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
