just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
