if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
