I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
