You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
