so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
