Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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