she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
