so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i think im in europe. pls send help
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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