i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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