My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Randomize
