Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
