Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
