I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
