chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
