hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Are we still banned from the library?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
