After last night, I could never be a politician.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
