My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Someone shattered a urinal.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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