Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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