That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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