well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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