my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
