The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
kristin has been a bad kristin
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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