absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
