You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
