It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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