in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
