Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
