Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
it glows. i had to have it.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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