Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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