he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize