he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
