Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
