I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
