I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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