Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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