You're so nebulous sometimes
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
