it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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