Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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