i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
