I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
It's Friday. Sex?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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