Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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