My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It's Friday. Sex?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
