I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
