Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
