Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
