I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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