in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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